So, just a short post. BUT........
I got weighed and measured today. And I've lost 2 inches on my arms, 2 inches on my waist and 2 inches on my hips!!! That's a total of 6 inches in 1 month!!! AND, I also lost 1.3% body fat. I don't know what the average is, but that the lowest I've been in years!!!! And a total of 10 pounds!!!
I liked the yoga, and I love the pilates, just finding a bit of time to just be with me, inside my own body and not out running 1000 errands!!!
Ok, that's it. 737 calories so far today. An hour of yoga/px90 abs... which was really like 30 with Jacob. And I'm feeling encouraged...
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
And then there was January
Well, I keep thinking about my blog, wanting to blog. There have been days I felt like I had a lot to say, but no time to write. Then there were the days I had a bit of time to write, and felt so stuck, who knew what to write.
But now January is over. It was a really "full" month for me. And when I saw full, I really mean, stressful and overwhelming. Why is it whenever you decide to deal with something, it gets 10 times harder?? My goal for 2010 is to learn to deal with my feelings, that is after I figure out how I feel, right?? So then, everything that could, comes at me. Wammooo!!! Here is everything. I got strep throat. Jonathan got sick. Josh got a stomach bug. Josh is having a hard time at school, regressing a bit. So now I'm trying to get LAUSD to have a behaviourist to come help him. Jordan is having "friendship" issues with another boy at school. And this part is always a challenge for me. How much to I get involved?? I can't expect a 4 year old to know how to deal with friendship issues. I am 37, almost38, and I need help and input on my relationships. But I also don't want to be that helicopter mom, you know, the one who hovers. I want to figure out that balance. In the midst of it, Jordan only wants to be with me lately. He stayed home from school last week, "I just want to be with mommy". Every time I try and separate from him, he is so sad. Is this a phase?? Do I let him stay with me, and know it will work itself out??
But the latest fun was yesterday. Josh got a splinter in his finger, you know under the fingernail. Just looking at it creeps me out. It looks so gross and painful. IIICCCCKKKK!!!! So I tried to cut the nail back and remove the splinter. But no luck. We take the morning and go to the pediatrician. And she tries, with the cold spray, but after 15 minutes of digging, a screaming 4 year old, that I am trying to console and hold down, and a 5 month old freaking out from this scene and also screaming, we decide she won't be able to remove it either. OK, so now what??? Well, it is infected, as the pus collects under his fingernail. So we reason that the splinter has to be removed. But she can't do it. So I need to go to the ER. WHAT??? How in the world am I going to pull that off?? I have to pick up Jordan, and I have Jacob and Jonathan took the van pool in. So off I go to call Jonathan. And it rings, and rings, and rings.... No answer. Finally I get ahold of him and we agree that I'll come pick him up at work, leave Jacob and Jordan with him and make my way to the ER. So out to La Canada to get him. WAIT... I haven't eaten all day and it's 1pm. Ok, against my better judgement and conscious, we stop at McDonald's. Sundae's for the boys and a snack wrap for me, well, 2 snack wraps and a small fries, but a diet coke. 800 calories. OMG!!! What??? Well, I guess it counts for both breakfast and lunch at that point.
We get Jonathan, and he drives home, since my head is now pounding. We get home, I take 4 advil, and the world's quickest shower, since I still smell like my workout. Then I realize there is no milk in the freezer. UUGGGGG!!! Ok, quick pump. But no milk in coming out. Please God, just give me 3 ounces. I should be home before the next feeding, (right??) And finally Josh and I are on our way to the ER.
We decide to go to Encino Hosp, since the signs all say, see a doctor in 20 minutes. Its a small hospital, small ER, so it shouldn't take that long. Oh, let's not forget, it was the first day of Camp Joy, bible camp. The boys are so excited to learn about he superhero's of the bible and see Caden. So I call AnnMarie to take Jordan, thinking I'll take Josh when we are done.
We walk in and sign in, and wait. And wait. And wait. All of us in the waiting room just wait. An HOUR PASSES!!! And we have not even been triaged. No one has been called in, in an hour!!! So we wait and wait more. After 2 hours, we finally get to see the triage nurse and she takes us back to a room. And we wait more!!! After 30 more minutes I find a nurse and beg for attention. I know it's just a splinter, but OMG!!! 2 1/2 hours!!! She tells me the doctor is going off duty in an hour and not going to see anyone else, and the next doctor will be in by 6pm and see him first. Deep breath. Don't strangle the nurse, or jump over the nurses station to strangle the doctor. Deep breath. Ok. We're a block from Jamba Jucie. Let's walk over and get a juice. Now, let's add in, in the 2 1/2 hours, I'm doing my best to be happy and ok with the wait and entertain my 4 year old who is sad he is not a superhero bible camp.
30 minutes and 2 smoothies later, we come back. I watch the new doctor come on duty, finish his coffee, read Josh's chart and then meander to our room. He looks at his finger then concludes that the splinter is too deep to get out, and that it will make it's way out on it own. Yes it's infected but we already have a prescription for antibiotics, so there is nothing else to do. Really??? 3 1/2 hours to hear, nothing else to do??? Deep breathes. Now I want a big mac, large fries, Mcflurry and a drink, the martini kind. But I have promised Josh a Transformer. So now we are on our way to Toys R Us, where he decides he wants a power ranger.
We finally got home at 7:45pm. Jonathan and I finally get the boys down after 8pm, and off to a hot bath I go, (without the big mac or martini).
I now feel the weight of the whole month tumbling down on me. It has been a long month. I am not even sure how I feel anymore. Too many things to process. Too many issues. I have a list of people I need to talk with about different problems, and now, all I want to do I run away.
I had to take Jonathan to his car this morning and then dropped the boys, where again, Jordan just wants mommy and I have to extricate him from me. I come home and take a really long hot shower trying to wash this feeling off me, the overwhelmed mommy doesn't have enough time to get it all done feeling. I have a mountain of laundry, and I mean a MOUNTAIN, at least 6 or 7 loads to work on, no groceries in the house and I know more than anything I have to find some time to write, to pray, to read my bible, to try and find a bit of inner peace. But when??? When do I find that time, that space, where even when I make the time, the issues all around me don't feel like they are pressing in on me so hard, that the push me out of that space.
I think I'm deciding to call this my February 1st, even though it's the 4th. I need a first of the month today. I will try to get to what I can, do my best and know the rest will get done, somehow. The good news is that will all this, I lost 10 pounds last month. I am now under 200, 199!!! It is a victory, one that I feel like it getting lost in the rest of my life. So I'll hold on tight to it.
Calories: I have no idea yet, I haven't had time to enter them.
Weight: under 200!!
Feeling: way to much, but trying to sort it out, just like my laundry
But now January is over. It was a really "full" month for me. And when I saw full, I really mean, stressful and overwhelming. Why is it whenever you decide to deal with something, it gets 10 times harder?? My goal for 2010 is to learn to deal with my feelings, that is after I figure out how I feel, right?? So then, everything that could, comes at me. Wammooo!!! Here is everything. I got strep throat. Jonathan got sick. Josh got a stomach bug. Josh is having a hard time at school, regressing a bit. So now I'm trying to get LAUSD to have a behaviourist to come help him. Jordan is having "friendship" issues with another boy at school. And this part is always a challenge for me. How much to I get involved?? I can't expect a 4 year old to know how to deal with friendship issues. I am 37, almost38, and I need help and input on my relationships. But I also don't want to be that helicopter mom, you know, the one who hovers. I want to figure out that balance. In the midst of it, Jordan only wants to be with me lately. He stayed home from school last week, "I just want to be with mommy". Every time I try and separate from him, he is so sad. Is this a phase?? Do I let him stay with me, and know it will work itself out??
But the latest fun was yesterday. Josh got a splinter in his finger, you know under the fingernail. Just looking at it creeps me out. It looks so gross and painful. IIICCCCKKKK!!!! So I tried to cut the nail back and remove the splinter. But no luck. We take the morning and go to the pediatrician. And she tries, with the cold spray, but after 15 minutes of digging, a screaming 4 year old, that I am trying to console and hold down, and a 5 month old freaking out from this scene and also screaming, we decide she won't be able to remove it either. OK, so now what??? Well, it is infected, as the pus collects under his fingernail. So we reason that the splinter has to be removed. But she can't do it. So I need to go to the ER. WHAT??? How in the world am I going to pull that off?? I have to pick up Jordan, and I have Jacob and Jonathan took the van pool in. So off I go to call Jonathan. And it rings, and rings, and rings.... No answer. Finally I get ahold of him and we agree that I'll come pick him up at work, leave Jacob and Jordan with him and make my way to the ER. So out to La Canada to get him. WAIT... I haven't eaten all day and it's 1pm. Ok, against my better judgement and conscious, we stop at McDonald's. Sundae's for the boys and a snack wrap for me, well, 2 snack wraps and a small fries, but a diet coke. 800 calories. OMG!!! What??? Well, I guess it counts for both breakfast and lunch at that point.
We get Jonathan, and he drives home, since my head is now pounding. We get home, I take 4 advil, and the world's quickest shower, since I still smell like my workout. Then I realize there is no milk in the freezer. UUGGGGG!!! Ok, quick pump. But no milk in coming out. Please God, just give me 3 ounces. I should be home before the next feeding, (right??) And finally Josh and I are on our way to the ER.
We decide to go to Encino Hosp, since the signs all say, see a doctor in 20 minutes. Its a small hospital, small ER, so it shouldn't take that long. Oh, let's not forget, it was the first day of Camp Joy, bible camp. The boys are so excited to learn about he superhero's of the bible and see Caden. So I call AnnMarie to take Jordan, thinking I'll take Josh when we are done.
We walk in and sign in, and wait. And wait. And wait. All of us in the waiting room just wait. An HOUR PASSES!!! And we have not even been triaged. No one has been called in, in an hour!!! So we wait and wait more. After 2 hours, we finally get to see the triage nurse and she takes us back to a room. And we wait more!!! After 30 more minutes I find a nurse and beg for attention. I know it's just a splinter, but OMG!!! 2 1/2 hours!!! She tells me the doctor is going off duty in an hour and not going to see anyone else, and the next doctor will be in by 6pm and see him first. Deep breath. Don't strangle the nurse, or jump over the nurses station to strangle the doctor. Deep breath. Ok. We're a block from Jamba Jucie. Let's walk over and get a juice. Now, let's add in, in the 2 1/2 hours, I'm doing my best to be happy and ok with the wait and entertain my 4 year old who is sad he is not a superhero bible camp.
30 minutes and 2 smoothies later, we come back. I watch the new doctor come on duty, finish his coffee, read Josh's chart and then meander to our room. He looks at his finger then concludes that the splinter is too deep to get out, and that it will make it's way out on it own. Yes it's infected but we already have a prescription for antibiotics, so there is nothing else to do. Really??? 3 1/2 hours to hear, nothing else to do??? Deep breathes. Now I want a big mac, large fries, Mcflurry and a drink, the martini kind. But I have promised Josh a Transformer. So now we are on our way to Toys R Us, where he decides he wants a power ranger.
We finally got home at 7:45pm. Jonathan and I finally get the boys down after 8pm, and off to a hot bath I go, (without the big mac or martini).
I now feel the weight of the whole month tumbling down on me. It has been a long month. I am not even sure how I feel anymore. Too many things to process. Too many issues. I have a list of people I need to talk with about different problems, and now, all I want to do I run away.
I had to take Jonathan to his car this morning and then dropped the boys, where again, Jordan just wants mommy and I have to extricate him from me. I come home and take a really long hot shower trying to wash this feeling off me, the overwhelmed mommy doesn't have enough time to get it all done feeling. I have a mountain of laundry, and I mean a MOUNTAIN, at least 6 or 7 loads to work on, no groceries in the house and I know more than anything I have to find some time to write, to pray, to read my bible, to try and find a bit of inner peace. But when??? When do I find that time, that space, where even when I make the time, the issues all around me don't feel like they are pressing in on me so hard, that the push me out of that space.
I think I'm deciding to call this my February 1st, even though it's the 4th. I need a first of the month today. I will try to get to what I can, do my best and know the rest will get done, somehow. The good news is that will all this, I lost 10 pounds last month. I am now under 200, 199!!! It is a victory, one that I feel like it getting lost in the rest of my life. So I'll hold on tight to it.
Calories: I have no idea yet, I haven't had time to enter them.
Weight: under 200!!
Feeling: way to much, but trying to sort it out, just like my laundry
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